Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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