Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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