So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Soap is not a condiment
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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