I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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