New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
