Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
