literally had 100 drinks last night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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