You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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