hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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