scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
