but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
