I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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