She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize