no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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