is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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