nut hugger
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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