saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
True but thats because hes a fetus.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
