It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
