it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
