I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
