Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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