NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
