dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
