I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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