doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
