i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
