if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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