Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
4 words: hood of his car
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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