I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
two words...techno handjob
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
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