I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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