Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
