Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
