Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
