so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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