Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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