Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
