No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
