It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
