dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Bring me that man meat
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
