Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
