I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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