I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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