I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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