yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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