there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Text me some of your sweat
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize