Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
