I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
