im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
