wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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