it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I will be naked everywhere
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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