im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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