And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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