is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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