So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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