Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
