Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
