I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
