I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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