I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
