i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
