i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
