Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
