I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
