ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
