oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
