I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
