I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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