Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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