I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
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so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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