Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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