We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
