walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
