why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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